


Hangman

by flecksofpoppy



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Compliant, Inspired by Art, M/M, Poetry, Post-85
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-06
Updated: 2016-10-06
Packaged: 2018-08-19 20:12:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8223413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flecksofpoppy/pseuds/flecksofpoppy
Summary: There are boats being cast in the unknown, truths being uncovered;but Levi knots the bolo tie in his fingers over and over,a mooring for things that would never survive the sea.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [seitsensarvi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/seitsensarvi/gifts).



> There are a few canon references to torture in here, but nothing super explicit.
> 
> This was inspired by Sirius's art of [Levi holding Erwin's bolo tie](http://seitsensarvi.tumblr.com/post/150919171320/say-what-do-you-dream-of-when-youve-lost)... things just got out of hand in my brain lolsob. Format inspired by the wonderful [what rules the heart is not fear but love](http://archiveofourown.org/works/889954) by aesterismo.
> 
>  
> 
> [Now also available translated into Vietnamese!](https://www.wattpad.com/444555263-%E3%80%8A-eruri-%E3%80%8B-hangman-hangman)

Death has a smell.  
It is how Levi’s earliest memories are formed:  
bile in the back of the throat when bread is scarce,  
hot weight of death when a body is decaying in a room.

( _“You clean up.”_  
He’s never ashamed for his indifference about bodies in front of Hanji _“_  
_I don’t like the smell.”_  
Torture is an art, the exquisite administering of suffering.  
Kenny always said that in order to really meet a man,  
it’s not in the way he unbuttons his shirt, holds his blade, or even fucks his wife;  
it’s in how he screams. Not what he says,  
but how he begs, and what he begs for.  
Levi ponders none of this except the fact that Djel’s molars go quite deep.)

Erwin has a beautiful smell.  
It is how Levi’s earliest moments of happiness are recalled:  
moan in the back of his throat as kisses fall on his windpipe  
weight of potential violence transformed into frenetic bodies on a bed.

(Wet mud has a different scent than dirt in the Underground.  
Under the sky, after rain the ground almost smells clean,  
and Isabel marvels at how many birds can sail through the clouds.  
Farlan and Levi plot—lions in a den of those seeking sainthood and glory.  
Levi remembers what blood smells like in the wet earth.)

Erwin has an unwashed smell.  
It is how Levi’s worst nightmares are formed:  
fear of gangrenous limb and a swollen eye under fingertips,  
weight of the world on unwashed shoulders as he’s released.

(Levi learns the art of knot-tying after Armin has killed for the first time.  
He says, idly through his pale face and in a wan voice, that his parents taught him  
that certain knots are supposed to moor the anchorings of “sea-faring” vessels.  
Levi has heard of the ocean from Erwin—not described with awe, but with resentment.  
_“This is how knowledge kills, but I must know—it is in my dreams.”_  
Armin falls asleep far more easily than Levi that night, despite murder.)

Erwin has a desperate smell.  
Levi throws angry words into the air  
but presses kisses along lines that lead to a missing arm;  
he knows how to tie a noose—both to the sea and to the gallows.  
He’s never begged, but he wants to now.

(When the roof can no longer hold up the weight of Levi’s entire world,  
Erwin raises his hand. Knowledge has killed him as it killed his father,  
and something in Levi dies as Erwin’s breath exhales like wind across water.  
There are boats being cast into the unknown, truths being uncovered;  
but Levi knots the bolo tie in his fingers over and over,  
a mooring for things that will not survive the sea.)

Levi keeps Erwin’s jacket with its pinned sleeve next to him in bed,  
Survey Corps tie fittingly knotted into a noose,  
gemstone at the throat as blood clots in the earth;  
binding like the heart in mourning.

( _“You’re a fool to…"_  
Levi doesn’t say the word, and doesn’t have to.  
_"What?”_  
Love is more exquisite and more painful than teeth ripped out of the jaw.  
_"Nothing.”_  
Erwin kisses Levi’s collarbones, takes off his bolo tie.  
_"Come to me.”_ )


End file.
